Do you ever get the idea, that your life is so messed up that you ask why is it against the law if you just want to punch out from the world and mortal coil? Why is it that there are not places, say a morgue or such where you could just walk in, ask to be put to death and it be done? Is it strictly a biblical thing or is it that a political thing? Here lately I have been thinking about that quite a bit. After all I have done everything that could be done in life, cept maybe get hitched, even that wouldn't be no sweat to have missed, but I have lived and I mean LIVED quite a life, so why punish me Dear Lord by making me live yet another day?
Okay then enough of my bitter woah is me stuff. Seems as the old adage of if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger, applies. With every one of my life's challenges I gain new incite as to new ideas or thoughts. I caught a post on old Zeb's Blog this morning that made me think. I don't know if he started his blog before mine or I started mine before his, in many ways my life and Zeb's has really mirrored each others. Unlike Zeb, I did not have Polio, but my early childhood had some great challenges health wise. My immune system was messed up as a baby. Although I could navigate pretty well, and all still every blooming virus that could be had , dropped down on me. Coupled with fevers of 108 to 110, convulsions. I can remember going to the hospital at 1 year old, yes I can remember it, why , who knows, but I remember it. I was set to have my tonsils out. It was near Christmas, we had just moved from Idaho back to Utah,(which is where I wished we would have stayed following Mom & Dads retirement from Hill Air Force Base in 1971) We drove to an old hospital right in the middle of Ogden Utah. I could see all the Christmas lights on Washington Blvd, there and hear the songs, and yet, at the end of visiting hours Mom and Dad left, and here I was all alone in that cold, hospital room. Hospital rooms then looked and felt much colder than they do now. Tonsil removal was a heap different then too. Wouldn't you know it two days after surgery, I got an infection, my system was overloaded and they had to put me in a big tub of pretty cold water just to reduce my fever and swelling. Of course they administered Penicilian which a year after they finally figured out that that medicine and I were allergic to each other. It wasn't until I was just turning 5 that Jean Hatch CEO at a place that her husband Jack Hatch brother of Senator Orin Hatch of Utah, they ran a place called Candy Campus, a sort of pre-school. Apparently their daughter Jolene had the same problem. Our good blood cells and our bad blood cells were messed up. But a Doctor named Harrold Jensen of Farmington Utah started giving me twice weekly shots of Gama Globlin. Which over time strengthened my immune system to where I could fight off virus's and such. Its days like today and weeks like I have had this past week and over two months, I ask the question, " God why didn't you just let me die?"