Sorry about last nights show, my heart and mind just wasn't into it. Perhaps it's just time that I took a long vacation and looked at a bunch of things going on in my lyfe. Seems any more I'm hitting brick walls clinging onto old beliefs and ideas that at the time were good, today just are not practacle. With that how do you erase a precious memory?
Sure you can delete old photos and look at digging up bones that are best left alone, but aside from that you can erase some of it, but it doesn't kill the pain inside.
Although what led up to this is no big deal, and in my eyes, I just thought it would or should have been like a guy crashing on the couch of another guy. Guess Erin didn't think so. The fact of so many times concluding phone texts and conversations of Love always , wasn't love at all. More like someone at church saying they love you as a brethren or church sister, not in the real form. Even so , There is an old bible verse or two, that goes that if you see a person without a bed, give him(or-her) yours, if you see someone without a coat give them yours, and if someone is hungry, break bread with them. So should someone you say you care for, or you call friend is drifting your way, knowing YOU could save them some precious money, and asks YOU, can I crash on YOUR couch, should you take that as meaning that you want to invade their private sleeping area? This shouldn't have been that big of a deal. If God has blessed you with a big home, sufficent food, clothing and all, and someone YOU have shared so much with, asks from you a place to crash for a very short time, a day maybe two tops, should or would you say NO? With that said, been deleting banners, photos, and a bunch of things with her picture in it, yes right down to the toes and such smooches. Of course there's the other side of the coin. If it were her, and her kids, who in many way I considered step kin, were coming this way and asked , can we stay with you for a few days? I'd not only open my home, but feed them as well. You see, I'm different. I am one who believes that its not just enough to go to a Church on Sunday, and pledge our love and loyalty to God, our Heavenly Father, but to put into practice every day and every hour the lessons we are taught or absorb from reading the bible. Not only are we to follow our Heavenly Father, but walk in his son, or brother in Heaven Jesus Christ's foot prints.
While I'm not sure of this , but maybe it is, that Smelly Shelly put a curse on me and what I do in lyfe, Not that I didn't do my part, in fact I went way beyond any obligation in any way and all ways with her, But there was that hour that she flat put me into a tailspin, and I had to extricate her from here. Perhaps that's what Erin did or felt she had to do. She's got a new guy, that she has decided needs 100% of her attention, and decided to say adios.
Any mile, going in, doing much prayer, and going to try to fix my self.
Will try a new show this morning at 06:00